HI THERE

WELL

IT LOOKS LIKE RAMMSTEIN HAVE MADE A NEW ALBUM OR SOMETHING. Here, then, is a copypasta real-time review from my insanejournal which you won't be able tos ee over there 'cause it's friends-locked. FOOOOO YEAH. SO BRING IT.

Well, okay. I'm not gonna lie. I was dire concerned that LIFAD would suck as a result of the, what, four year studio break? and I would be sad forever and do crying because my Favourite Band Evar would have done a suck and that is sad.

WELL FORTUNATELY FOR MY TEAR DUCTS, it isn't. It's fucking awesome. There isn't a song I've heard yet (and I'm on the penultimate track not counting the bonus tracks) that I don't think is fucking brilliant in one way or another. They're musically solid, as usual, and their lyrics have got - if possible - even worse. Their song, right, their song about Josef Fritzl? Weiner Blut? Had me squeaking in horror behind my fingers. It's harrowing.

I think my favourite track is probably Waidmann's Heil, which is a hunting song with dogs in it. And while I'm pretty anti-hunting, I am pro-brutal songs where Till bellows "STERBEN!" and there's percussive dog-panting. You heard me. Percussive, rhythm-keeping dog-panting.

--Okay, now I'm on the last track, Roter Sand, and it is fucking haunting. Fucking hell. This is amazing. I'm so glad I pre-ordered! It's released today in the UK, so I'll get it, ugh, not today, fucking FAIL, but later. Never mind. I doubt Fopp'll get it in for anything less than what I paid for it (all hail musicnonstop!) if at all, so whatever.

A few notes:

- Darker, blacker themes than usual
-- Darker, more sinister tunes than usual - Pussy really is the odd one out for up-beat-ness.
- Till does a lot of singing.
- There are A LOT of synths, which is good, because it means Flake has something to do for once...
-- ...other than Till
- They've matured a lot in terms of how they put things together. They're sounding very, very polished and canny. This is the music of some old motherfuckers who know how to make songs and troll audiences.

Holy shit I am on the bonus tracks now
AND THE FIRST ONE, FUEHRE MICH, IS BLISTERINGLY ATTRACTIVE JESUS SHIT I AM ON FIRE

Important side-note: I will round up the bitches who are making World War II fanvideos with Rammstein as the soundtrack, and I will fucking kill them into next actual week. I will hate out all their blood with the singularly vaporising power of my wrath. Firstly? WWII fanvideos? ARE YOU INSANE. You can't be a fan of a world war!! That's like saying you can be a fan of fucking Chernobyl. Secondly, I will locate every single person who equates modern Germany with Nazi Germany and punch them so hard, all their ancestors will explode.

Carrying on
- Dude, this track is so watery. What is- oh. Donaukinder. Children of the Danube. OLOLOLOLOL RAMMSTEIN AND THEIR SYNAESTHETIC PANDERING ONCE MORE
- I need to get my grubby paws on their lyrics, is what, and then I can translate Fruehling in Paris and work out if it is genuinely a tragic love song, or whether it's actually about something more sinister. I was sitting there listening to it, waiting for the other lyrical shoe to drop, and I don't think it ever did. Honestly, I'm more shocked by that than anything else it could have been...
- JESUS CHRIST. HALT. IS AMAZING. God, it's so brutal. I think I'm going to cry.
- The last bonus track, Liese, is musically the same as Roter Sand. No really. It has the same actual tune and whistled melody. Only it has different lyrics. What the hell, guys? What's happening there? Okay, Liese is a fuller song, where Roter Sand is a very simple bare-bones ballad. But... what? Okaaaayy.

RIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH. BACK TO WORK. PS. visit my webshite.